oh, hey nashville.

soo...on this one saturday, i journeyed into downtown nashville with my camera and a jacket that was not warm enough for the cold. i looked like a nerd because i was by myself, but i got coffee and took pictures and went to a bookstore and saw Abraham Lincoln's signature.

it was a very successful day.

 {tennessee capitol park}

 {oh hey, nashville. how about you just stand there and look gorgeous? thanks.}

{a picture that's increasingly horizontal.}

welcome to the new {nashville} life.

hey all.

i've been gone for awhile, like usual. because life is crazy and you have just got to hear what is going on in it. please don't get stressed out. if you get stressed out, then i will get even MORE stressed out, and no one likes a stressed out blogger. it makes for boring posts like this one.

before i spiral off into 'my life,' i would like to go off on a bunny trail and direct your attention to that picture up there. my best friend took it when i was in africa and laughing in the rainforest. seriously, that's a rainforest. i got drenched. right now i am not even close to a rain forest, but it is raining quite a lot outside and i've ducked into starbucks for a bit. {i hate driving in the rain. hate it.}

i should stop procrastinating. sooo....the reason i have been really bad at posting is because 'revenge' came on hulu. and i got two more jobs which brings my job total to four {don't get stressed. please}. and..i got in a car accident and the guy didn't have insurance and won't return my calls. i'm moving into my own little apartment on friday. my cell phone bill has tripled. and i'm driving my parent's suburban for the time being, so my gas bill has ALSO tripled {thank god for cheap tennessee gas}.

i'm sure after that little tirade you will understand the reason for that laughing picture. i kinda need it. as you know, posting is always haphazard on this little piece of internet that i call mine. if you miss me, check out my instagram, which i promise is fun, and SOON i will be putting up a facebook fan page for my little blog. i know, i know. let's add another stressor to the pot. fun.

as for now, i will sign off as your writer, independent contractor, admin assistant, grad student, legal assistant, and finally, your barista. because naturally i have to be able to provide myself with free coffee...and i like talking to people when they have to talk to me.

oh, nashville. you grow me in so many {extremely painful} ways. thanks for that.

long distance.

the move from LA to Nashville has been rough. i would be lying if i said it wasn't. i miss the warm weather and the fast pace of everything, the way the 170 highway dips into stunning views of hollywood/downtown. that one iconic sign on the hill, the ocean, the palm trees and the need for sunglasses. a place to call my own, lemonade on melrose, ice cream in brentwood, movie sets and my best friend. i know, dorky, hey?

i almost titled this post, "two weeks in tennessee," because just fourteen days in, I was ready to head back out. nashville is full of sweet people and home cooking, but the rough edge and beauty of that one city i left? it's hard to forget. for now, i'm a long distance best friend, a long distance california girl, and  a long distance LA lover. i've promised myself a year in nashville. one year to upend this city, to explore chicago (only seven hours away!), pop down to new orleans or springfield or birmingham, visit the civil war sites (i'm a closet history buff), and take advantage of all the free country music i can.

for now, i'm in a city where johnny cash sang, where he fell in love with a lady named june. where patsy cline crooned, and elvis danced. this is music city, usa. not los angeles, not san francisco. but nashville. it's been a battle to recognize that if i spend all my time mooning over what once was, i'm never going to appreciate the beauty of what is.

excuse the short post, everyone. but it's about time i put a little 'california' in tennessee. care to join me?

the january adventure.

my grad school is positively phenomenal.
i know that bragging isn't okay, and usually i would be a bit annoyed with someone posting something so awful and audacious online.

but honestly.

take a peek at belmont university, and try to tell me you don't want a read a book under the tree and hang out with the cute cowboys. i've been extremely blessed to have the opportunity to view the school with some neat inside connections (thanks, mom!), as well as meet with the director of the english program.

although finances are never fun, the school has an excellent reputation, as well as quite a few distinguished alumni. not only that, but it has the inside scoop with vanderbilt, which makes a doctorate look much more appetizing to my artistic side.

i'll be studying here from january 2013 to the summer of 2014, and will hopefully get to enjoy working on an mfa afterwards. we will have to see what God has in store, because i am always getting ahead of myself. i want this and then that and some other thing...but the truth is? i'm only 20. i've got time.

i'm excited to go back to school in california on monday, (still working on a second BS in psychology) because i think nashville has to have some time get ready for a crazy little LA implant. i love my home state, i really do.

but...

it looks like belmont is going to have a new creative writer on campus.

{the english department = a new home}

do you look single?

i was buying a nice little stack of candy at the work cafe the other day, when the cute little cashier looked me up and down and said, "you're single, huh? enjoy it. this time is much too short." it was a random/weird out-of-the-blue statement that made me stop in my tracks.

um, hello? do i just "look" single?

wow. i kind of smiled, (emphasis on the 'kind of'), and walked nice and fast out of there. is it because i buy airhead candy with little to no fear of hip expansion? maybe since sometimes i just throw on shorts and a t-shirt for work, because i'm too tired to do anything else...is it the book i always read on my breaks?

i have no idea, but i had to laugh. what else do you do in a situation like that? i have been in relationships before {i only have good memories, guys! ;) }, and just recently dodged a MAJOR bullet with someone else. it's not the question of actually "getting" into a relationship. i'm just a bit picky. if i'm going to invest my heart in you, to make an "us," i want to make sure that it's worth it. i take heartbreak extremely seriously, and i don't think ben and jerry's markets enough flavors to keep me occupied.

i just recently celebrated my second straight year of singleness after the absolutely hardest break-up i have ever had to endure. the first year afterwards i vowed not to date at all, but instead to invest in the well-being and care of myself, as well as the necessary upkeep needed for my faith. i didn't want to rebound with someone i didn't feel strongly about, and then deal with the same issue all over again. so now here i am, twenty whole years old and singlesinglesingle. it's not a bad word, guys. come on.

that sweet little cashier was right. single life is just as precious as being in a relationship, and so is this period of 'singleness'. there have been a couple boys this semester at school (future police officer + a film maker who has worked with james franco. i love LA), but none of them have really struck a chord. i like to flirt and smile and have fun. (i also might have ditched in the middle of class with the boy who sits next to me, just to eat top ramen outside and talk about san francisco.) but i don't want anything other than that. it just simply, isn't the time. i feel like there's too much to do.

i wouldn't have stayed in LA if i was in a relationship. i never would have had those midnight trips into santa monica, or the hours giggling with my roommate. i wouldn't be moving to nashville in a couple of weeks or going to africa. there are so many doors that were opened due to my crazy "on my own" mentality, and it's good. it's good and i'm happy (by the way. the boys in nashville? SO cute.) I know that the butterflies will make an appearance again in my life, and i'm excited for that time. hopefully it occurs after january.

one day i want to find the harry to my sally, i want to be "princess vivian" and wear a pretty white dress with a bunch of friends and family. i want to be able to tell an engagement story and laugh with my husband, to grow old with another hand clutched in my own, to make memories with him and tell stories. but this time is sweet, and much too short. for the one to ten years i stay single after college, there are many more married years to make up for them. this is one single lady that is begging, please. do not put a ring OR a label on it. friends are good. because this?

this is adventure time.

something significant.

i was listening to a sugarland cd the other day, when jennifer nettles belted out a line that said, "the first and last breath don't matter, it's all the ones that are in-between." which made me stop and think for a minute. time is such a fluid thing, so fast and fleeting, that i don't ponder it much. what am i doing with my life? do i act in a God-honoring way, do i put other's first? what difference have i made in the lives of all those i interact with?

sometimes it's hard to find that bit of light that drives you to keep going. i'll find myself zoning out and poring over skeevy craigslist ads for apartments in nashville, completely invested in the excitement of what is to come. but then, i have to think. this is a precious time. i will never be able to rewind to age twenty and relive life in my apartment with my best friend, or go back to all the hours spent enjoying hollywood and serving on children's worship team. i find myself thinking too often, "oh, i've got time."

because, well. i need to make sure that now is the time, these are the days.
my life just needs to be revved up a bit, and i'm ready to enjoy these last couple weeks in my home state.

what do you do to stay thankful, and make your moments worth it?

one of those days.

you see all this chocolate?
i want to eat it. all.

it's a rare cloudy day in los angeles, and i really just want to cuddle up in bed all day with a good book and never-ending amounts of peppermint hot chocolate and sourdough toast.

instead? i'll spend eight hours at work, meet with one of my favorite professor's about my writing, and then hoof it to school for night class. Wednesday's are not my favorite.

So, in lieu of a long and convoluted blog post, i thought i would focus on some of my favorite things today. it's always good to find bits and pieces to make you smile, especially when the day seems just much too long! :)

{little lydia's sweet baby face}

{comfort food at puckett's} 

{old doors and antique stores} 

{downtown nashville//where the past and present meld perfectly} 

{long talks with mama + cinnamon rolls} 

{long hair/no make-up/sunglasses days} 

{the bleeker pizza from this place!} 

{old locks} 

{water wheels} 

 {old family photos//notice the golden gate in the background??}

 {words}

 {sleeping baby face}

{goldfish in class}

leaving a mark on the ryman.

{inside the ryman}

when i think of classic country singers, there is no one more iconic than johnny cash. then i think about june carter, and dolly parton. patsy cline gets thrown into the mix, as well as hank williams. there are quite a few names that are more than easy to drop, and they all made their tennessee performance home at the ryman auditorium.

it was the first grand ole opry. the acoustics are excellent, rivaled in the united states only by the mormon tabernacle choir. my mama and i were able to take a backstage tour and hear all the stories that echo through the wood paneled halls. the hall is still in use (martina mcbride will be there in september!), and everyone from garth brooks to the kings of leon wait in line to get a concert date.

i guess it's a bit hard to explain in a couple of disjointed words how amazing this historical landmark truly is. the ryman is where quite a few contemporary country stars perform on a monthly basis, and the grammy award nominations will be held here in the late fall. i have a feeling taylor swift will be honored...as well as quite a few of the main pop and rock singers as of late.

although the grand ole opry was rebuilt in the middle of the seventies far away from downtown nashville, the ryman is known as the home of country music. mama loved it, and i thought all the history was exciting and almost eerie. the tour guides (who personally knew johnny and june) talk about the ghosts in the hallways, watching the acts from the wings.

i'd take the old over the new any day.

 {cowboy boots of the stars + me}

{johnny/june/meg. it has a ring, doesn't it? ;) }

 {downtown}

 {the tour guides. who know everyone. literally.}

{mama and her favorites!}

 {timelines}

{tall ceilings for the acoustics}

real country.

{a hot air balloon surprise}

i always thought that i knew what, "country" meant. it was somewhere along south shingle, tucked away beyond highway 50. it was anywhere that was nowhere, someplace that's far beyond the access of any car that doesn't possess four-wheel-drive.

or i guess it's in tennessee.

i've been out visiting my family for the last couple days, and we're getting ready to head out to puckett's now (the reason for the short post..). before i run out the door though, i thought it would be neat to show off a little bit of this amazing state. it truly is beautiful.

 {railroad tracks under a blueblue sky}

 {natural tree canopy}

 {hay bales}