oh, valentines day.

do you ever find yourself 'looking back' on valentines day? do you wonder about all the romantic dinners/cards of the past, and wonder why in the world it's not happening this year? or maybe why your husband/boyfriend isn't pulling out the big candy hearts or candles any longer.?

yeah, i know. been there, done that.

i've had a couple or really, really good dates on valentines day, and then a couple {semi-depressing} years where the only gift i got was a miniature box of See's on my dinner plate. from my parents. that's a little bit embarrassing, you know? just don't tell my mom.

this year is one of the 'wane' years. and i'm not going to go on and on, saying how you should just 'love yourself' and 'forget the day.' no, i'll say it. being alone on valentines day sucks. it's not fun, and it's frustrating to remember how much i looked forward to it when my mind was clouded with puppy love, then compare it to the now. i'm not sad about that pink and red riddled day in february. even though i'm single, i actually quite like it. why?

because i love love.

it's my absolute FAVORITE to see couples holding hands and all the harried men and women running in and out of the post office with red envelopes. i love seeing the silly valentines day cards in the stores, and the kids pondering what candy to give to their 'special someone' in the grocery store aisles. february just feels bright and happy, even though it is in the middle of the winter. it's the month of love, no matter what kind of love you're feeling. whether you're single (read my post on singleness here), married, or dating, it's a special day.

so. instead of being all mopey and crazy about tomorrow, i thought i would show you a couple pictures of those wonderful people in my life. the ones that make me smile, let me cry on their shoulders and laugh until my face gets much too red. these are the people that i am celebrating on that day of love...what about you?

{little siblings}

{my sweet college roommate}

{my obviously still madly in love parents}

{best friend}

okay, everyone. take a deep breath and go listen to some jackie wilson...oh, yeah. and enjoy this pretty awesome day of love. you can find that warm, fuzzy feeling anywhere, you just have to look <3 

one of those days.

you see all this chocolate?
i want to eat it. all.

it's a rare cloudy day in los angeles, and i really just want to cuddle up in bed all day with a good book and never-ending amounts of peppermint hot chocolate and sourdough toast.

instead? i'll spend eight hours at work, meet with one of my favorite professor's about my writing, and then hoof it to school for night class. Wednesday's are not my favorite.

So, in lieu of a long and convoluted blog post, i thought i would focus on some of my favorite things today. it's always good to find bits and pieces to make you smile, especially when the day seems just much too long! :)

{little lydia's sweet baby face}

{comfort food at puckett's} 

{old doors and antique stores} 

{downtown nashville//where the past and present meld perfectly} 

{long talks with mama + cinnamon rolls} 

{long hair/no make-up/sunglasses days} 

{the bleeker pizza from this place!} 

{old locks} 

{water wheels} 

 {old family photos//notice the golden gate in the background??}

 {words}

 {sleeping baby face}

{goldfish in class}

a day to remember.

{circa 2003}

i was a little girl eleven years ago today, one who woke up early in the morning to go to school and found her mom crying on the telephone. it was about something i didn't understand, so i made my oatmeal and sat on the cold bar stool, feeling strangely uneasy. 

i was small, and saw the tragedy through the innocent eyes of a child. 

now i look back and understand, with a strong feeling of love for my country. my family has a sturdy military background, and both of my parents have formerly worked for a bay area police department. we possess a respect for the first-responders, and also a fiery sense of patriotism. 

september 11 breaks my heart. i get teary-eyed thinking of all the families whose lives took a tragic turn that day, and chills when i hear stories of heroism. although my country isn't perfect, i truly do love it. i respect President Bush for his honorable and sweet actions in the classroom that day, and for the police officers and firefighters that gave everything to save those in need. 

we didn't have television in 2001, so my family bundled up the babies and went over to my aunt's house to watch the news coverage. it was a confusing time, one that infused a sense of heartache and unity throughout the whole country. one of my most vibrant memories comes in the form of a simple moment with my dad. 

my cousins and i were playing outside, when he called us in. 

i'll never forget the look in his eyes as he said, "you all need to come inside. your president is speaking."

my president was speaking. i was nine-years-old, and my father's words reverberated with a sense of respectful pride. my country had been attacked, but my president was speaking, and it was time to stand with the rest of my country and listen.

President Bush ended his speech with words that are still firmly branded in my mind. "i pray they will be comforted by a power that's greater than any of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23. 'even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i fear no evil, for you are with me'....none of us will ever forget this day, yet we go forward to defend freedom, and all that is good and just in our world. thank you, goodnight, and God bless America."

labor day.

{yum.}

for labor day weekend, the best friend and i decided to head down to hollywood for some yummy pancakes and a day of low-key shopping. (this place was the best!) the city was surprisingly empty, and we hit absolutely no traffic. in LA? this is a miracle in itself. hope your day was just as exciting!

 {our view for the day}

{cutie ice cream}

 {lemon slush}

{slushie heaven}

 {strawberry slush}

 {in love with all the fun olive oil bottles}

 {chocolate, chocolate, chocolate heaven!}

 {jawbreaker the size of a baseball...}

 {lollipops}

{pretzel fun}

{99% cacao? too nervous to try $30 candy bars...}

 {best friend + pancakes = amazing.}

 {mounds pancakes? heaven.}

 {egg scramble}

{crazy/loud atmosphere}

 {happy/full best friends}

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A Little Bit Broken.

I don't usually write blog posts on my feelings. Most often, they're about the fluffy/fun parts of Los Angeles, and the crazy extended family that makes their home up in the Bay Area. This week, however, I left my family in Tennessee. And that's no laughing matter.

It's roughly 2,004 miles from my front door to theirs, and sometimes I think I can personally feel every foot of it. Whoever came up with the term, "homesick" wasn't kidding. There's a pressure on your chest, and tears feel like they hide right behind your eyes. Sometimes I catch myself walking on eggshells around the office/home as to not jostle the delicate nature of my heart.

Is that strange? To be twenty-years-old, and completely broken over being so far away from home? It's a bit odd to come to terms with. I've washed the floors of the bathroom at work with tears that came too fast to stop, and listened to country music that strikes a sudden, hidden chord. I woke up on Monday morning much too early (I was still on Dad/Tennessee time), and watched as the sky bled colors of light blue and pink. It's beautiful, but different. And it hurts.

When I went away to college, everyone was missing home. We were all torn away from the people we loved, and thrust into a dorm with a hundred other girls in the same situation. It's different, now. At school, the other students go home to their families, and I hear people at work talking about plans for the weekend with siblings, or dinners with mom and dad. I'm happy for them, but there's a little chink of envy in my heart. I wish I could do the same thing.

I fought tears the whole plane flight back, and finally managed to let go once I found a note from my Mama tucked away in my carry-on bag. On the outside she had written, "Meg: Open in LA." She tucked in a little love note somewhere in Tennessee, and I was lucky to find it before I went to bed late Sunday night. She wrote about how much she loves me, and God's plan. It was her last line {paraphrased, here. some letters are too personal to share} that hit me hard. "God has a great plan for you...but I pray he always leads you home."

It's in moments like these that I realize the inevitable.
Sometimes, it's okay to be a little broken.

 {dad and mama}

 {a night out for live music//love the lady smiling in the background}

 {playing games at starbucks}

summer, 2012

i can't bear the thought that summer is almost over. even though i love the fall, it's going to be hard to leave the long evenings and 80 degree days. the beach just won't feel the same, and ice cream will step aside to make way for hot chocolate.

in the midst of my nostalgic sunday night (gave a tour to some friends at the ol' alma mater...weird.), i decided to go back through the photos of summer. i'll be in nashville for the remainder of the week, so here's a bit of beautiful california before this blog gives way to tennessee posts.

summer, 2012

 {best sundaes. ever.}

 {excuse the hair in my face//it was a bit windy}

 {treats on a saturday}

 {watching the US women's gold medal soccer game}

 {two of my favorite people at the el coyote}

 {malibu trip}

 {someone pulled the fire alarm...in 100+ degree weather}

 {dodgers game with the ladies}

 {this is the, "we just bought tickets to africa" face.}

 {getting ready for a trip home//ice cream for breakfast}

 {filling the vases with flowers//saturday morning tradition}

{love/hate relationship with the glasses: i love, best friend hates} 

{helping the family move}

{in love with old photos}

{iliad//favorite bookstore} 

{berry cake? success.} 

{new hairstyle during june gloom}