oh, valentines day.

do you ever find yourself 'looking back' on valentines day? do you wonder about all the romantic dinners/cards of the past, and wonder why in the world it's not happening this year? or maybe why your husband/boyfriend isn't pulling out the big candy hearts or candles any longer.?

yeah, i know. been there, done that.

i've had a couple or really, really good dates on valentines day, and then a couple {semi-depressing} years where the only gift i got was a miniature box of See's on my dinner plate. from my parents. that's a little bit embarrassing, you know? just don't tell my mom.

this year is one of the 'wane' years. and i'm not going to go on and on, saying how you should just 'love yourself' and 'forget the day.' no, i'll say it. being alone on valentines day sucks. it's not fun, and it's frustrating to remember how much i looked forward to it when my mind was clouded with puppy love, then compare it to the now. i'm not sad about that pink and red riddled day in february. even though i'm single, i actually quite like it. why?

because i love love.

it's my absolute FAVORITE to see couples holding hands and all the harried men and women running in and out of the post office with red envelopes. i love seeing the silly valentines day cards in the stores, and the kids pondering what candy to give to their 'special someone' in the grocery store aisles. february just feels bright and happy, even though it is in the middle of the winter. it's the month of love, no matter what kind of love you're feeling. whether you're single (read my post on singleness here), married, or dating, it's a special day.

so. instead of being all mopey and crazy about tomorrow, i thought i would show you a couple pictures of those wonderful people in my life. the ones that make me smile, let me cry on their shoulders and laugh until my face gets much too red. these are the people that i am celebrating on that day of love...what about you?

{little siblings}

{my sweet college roommate}

{my obviously still madly in love parents}

{best friend}

okay, everyone. take a deep breath and go listen to some jackie wilson...oh, yeah. and enjoy this pretty awesome day of love. you can find that warm, fuzzy feeling anywhere, you just have to look <3 

sweet baby faces.

this is kind of a "bleh" blogpost. well...not really. but there's just a lot of pictures that i just have to show someone before i burst! baby faces? bay area baby faces? honestly, you know you can't resist.

a couple of months ago (thanksgiving), i had the chance to meet up with my aunt and uncle who make their home in alameda, california. in case you don't know where that is, it's an itty-bitty island in the san francisco bay, right over here. they have two darling little ones, lydia and baby georgie, and they're expecting another one any minute now. i. can't. wait.

 

 

{how cute is this?!? crossing his hands behind his back? come on.} 

(which christmas tree do i want? hm, hm, hmm...)

birthday in the city.

a couple of weeks ago, i celebrated my twenty-first birthday. with a whole lot of family in nashville and friends that are far away, my dad decided to make his way down from northern california to celebrate. to say the least? i was excited. it's nice to drive around los angeles in a bmw instead of my college kid jalopy, and i got to show dad all of my favorite places in the city.

dad treated at the bonaventure, where i had my first drink (a lemon drop martini!) and got to patter around in my favorite sky high heels. the hotel is gorgeous, by the way, and stuck right smack dab in the middle of downtown. i have an old friend who always wanted to go, and they spoke of it highly. when i realized that there was a restaurant, i just couldn't resist. the cocktail lounge slowly revolves, so you can see the whole of the city. it was amazing. sweet and simple, just the way i like it ;)

i'm very thankful my dad decided to take a whole weekend off of work to spend time with his displaced daughter. this california girl is now excited to see the whote family again, when we can all hang out together in that place called nashville. such a sweet daddy, huh? :)

{dad's a big fan of hollywood...}

{we clean up pretty good, hey?}

camera nostalgia.

i'm really not much of a photographer. i'm going to be taking classes soon, which is exciting, but for now i'm just a nerd with a camera. not too crazy, hey?

while up in the bay area, i visited with my aunt when she pulled out these two amazing cameras. hers was just oh so neat, a canon from the 70's that had lots of character. pretty much my camera model from quite a few years ago. as much as i loved it, however, i absolutely fell in love with the second camera that came out of storage, from where it was kept high up on a shelf {you can see it to the left below, with the "argus" branding}

it was old, i'm guesstimating a little bit more than fifty years, and it was my great-grandfathers.

as i passed it back and forth, studying the neat metallic intricacies, my aunt sweetly reminded me, "all those photographs of your grandma, as a little girl? were taken with this camera." saturday marked the twelfth year that my grandma hasn't been able to celebrate her birthday with us, which made it just so much more special. this itty-bitty {kinda heavy} camera from the mid-twentieth century left me reflective and nostalgic for the rest of the day.

i know that it's been years and years, but it's still hard. i know that my mama still misses her mama {and rightfully so}, and sometimes i feel cheated. i only get to hear stories about my grandma, how she loved musicals and talking on the phone and cheesecake. how my mama used to make her laugh, and the neat times around the dinner table. i'm sad that i didn't get to know her any farther than the grandma with the pretty smile and open arms.

i can't say, however, that her life hasn't managed to influence my own. i'm in love with musicals. she helped me learn to read {i recently graduated with an english degree} and write {i'm a creative writing grad student}. it's not much, but it's the tiny inkling that i need. i was a little girl, but there's so much to remember. i'm grateful for my family that is filled to the brim with stories, and my sweet mama. i wouldn't have her without grandma, and i'm glad she raised such a neat lady.

this camera gave me a sneak-peek into the past.

it's simply a piece of my family history, and i love it.
oh, so much.

let them eat... italian pastries.

north beach is a small district in san francisco that is recognized by it's italian heritage, marked by small flags on every light pole. it runs mainly along columbus avenue, which you can see here. this is where you'll find city lights books from this post, the yummy piazza pellegrini, and about a million tiny pastry shops. after running from the crowds of tourists around pier 39 and fisherman's wharf {overrated}, the best friend and i caught sight of oh so many pretty pastries in the window.

after drooling for a {very} short time, we decided both of us were simply ravenous and only a cannoli and scoop of spumoni gelato would do. i wish i could remember the name of this place, because it really was fantastic! if you visit north beach before i do, be sure to let me know! ;)

i might have a teensy bit of a sweet tooth, so italian delicacies really make me nice and happy. especially spumoni. it reminds me of my grandpa, who made his italian roots very clear with consistent trips to his favorite local italian resaurant {which is now closed :( } both he and my grandma were regulars for many, many years. maybe the love for carbs/spumoni rubbed off a bit on me, too.

east bay baby.

i am actually kind of in love with this picture. it's a neat way to view san francisco from the shores of the east bay {this is in alameda}. i've always been a huge fan of city skylines, but this one just takes the cake. it's san francisco, for heavens sake! until i set eyes on nyc, i think this beautiful city by the bay might just win. LA just isn't as excruciatingly beautiful through all the smog. 

the best friend and got some advice from my sweet aunt and uncle, and decided to forgo the BART train for the alameda ferry. it's a quick little trip across the bay, and absolutely gorgeous. it's cheap, easy, and super fast. so, naturally. since i was in the middle of the bay, i had to take a bunch of pictures of the shoreline/city. i might have taken a bit too many, but hey. they're pretty and fun to take.

this area really is stunning, so i hope you enjoy all the crazy/random photos.
makes me proud to be a bay area baby.

the january adventure.

my grad school is positively phenomenal.
i know that bragging isn't okay, and usually i would be a bit annoyed with someone posting something so awful and audacious online.

but honestly.

take a peek at belmont university, and try to tell me you don't want a read a book under the tree and hang out with the cute cowboys. i've been extremely blessed to have the opportunity to view the school with some neat inside connections (thanks, mom!), as well as meet with the director of the english program.

although finances are never fun, the school has an excellent reputation, as well as quite a few distinguished alumni. not only that, but it has the inside scoop with vanderbilt, which makes a doctorate look much more appetizing to my artistic side.

i'll be studying here from january 2013 to the summer of 2014, and will hopefully get to enjoy working on an mfa afterwards. we will have to see what God has in store, because i am always getting ahead of myself. i want this and then that and some other thing...but the truth is? i'm only 20. i've got time.

i'm excited to go back to school in california on monday, (still working on a second BS in psychology) because i think nashville has to have some time get ready for a crazy little LA implant. i love my home state, i really do.

but...

it looks like belmont is going to have a new creative writer on campus.

{the english department = a new home}

is it autumn?

{we're still doing this in my neck of the woods.}

due to the fact that today was around ninety degrees, i'm having trouble with the fact that it's supposedly, "fall". my mama has called from nashville and bragged about their chilly weather, but california is still nice and sunny. {the nice part is debatable}being a november baby, this is really difficult for me to deal with. my fall weather is going to be cut down to a couple of weeks...and i'm not happy. especially since my journal entries tell me that my school pretty much flooded last year around this time.

what in the world is happening?!?
since i feel like my world is falling apart, i have to comfort myself with bits and pieces of autumn. {i know, i know. another list. but i'm tired and it's late and you know you love 'em}

- pumpkins are on sale at the grocery store
- i changed best friend's name to, "Meredith Grey" in my phone, which means fall tv seasons have started up
- nighttime is getting chillier
- getting under the covers is now necessary at bedtime
- lemonade is on sale
- people are planning halloween parties{?!?!??}
- gas is going down, just a little bit ;)

has fall come to your town? it's time to share with LA, everybody! ;)

days gone by.

okay, okay. i'll admit it.
i love looking at old photos.

it's one of my favorite things to flip through little pieces of the past, and smile at all the hidden memories that come rushing back. since i'm a big sister, it's always so sweet to see my little sibling's features soften and curve back into those adorable baby faces i miss so much.

there's something that's just so fascinating about the past. it enables us to enjoy the beauty of the present, and be excited for the promise of the future. my siblings faces may not be teeny-tiny any more.  but one day, we'll have our own to squeal over.

am i getting ahead of myself? maybe.
but there's nothing wrong with a little tuesday morning dreaming :)

in honor of the beginning of autumn, here are some of my favorite memories from back home, complete with pumpkins+sunny california weather.