A Little Bit Broken.

I don't usually write blog posts on my feelings. Most often, they're about the fluffy/fun parts of Los Angeles, and the crazy extended family that makes their home up in the Bay Area. This week, however, I left my family in Tennessee. And that's no laughing matter.

It's roughly 2,004 miles from my front door to theirs, and sometimes I think I can personally feel every foot of it. Whoever came up with the term, "homesick" wasn't kidding. There's a pressure on your chest, and tears feel like they hide right behind your eyes. Sometimes I catch myself walking on eggshells around the office/home as to not jostle the delicate nature of my heart.

Is that strange? To be twenty-years-old, and completely broken over being so far away from home? It's a bit odd to come to terms with. I've washed the floors of the bathroom at work with tears that came too fast to stop, and listened to country music that strikes a sudden, hidden chord. I woke up on Monday morning much too early (I was still on Dad/Tennessee time), and watched as the sky bled colors of light blue and pink. It's beautiful, but different. And it hurts.

When I went away to college, everyone was missing home. We were all torn away from the people we loved, and thrust into a dorm with a hundred other girls in the same situation. It's different, now. At school, the other students go home to their families, and I hear people at work talking about plans for the weekend with siblings, or dinners with mom and dad. I'm happy for them, but there's a little chink of envy in my heart. I wish I could do the same thing.

I fought tears the whole plane flight back, and finally managed to let go once I found a note from my Mama tucked away in my carry-on bag. On the outside she had written, "Meg: Open in LA." She tucked in a little love note somewhere in Tennessee, and I was lucky to find it before I went to bed late Sunday night. She wrote about how much she loves me, and God's plan. It was her last line {paraphrased, here. some letters are too personal to share} that hit me hard. "God has a great plan for you...but I pray he always leads you home."

It's in moments like these that I realize the inevitable.
Sometimes, it's okay to be a little broken.

 {dad and mama}

 {a night out for live music//love the lady smiling in the background}

 {playing games at starbucks}

everybody loves a makeover...

recently, i've been spending time with my lovely family in tennessee. it's been hot, the scenery has been gorgeous, and schools oh so expensive. since i don't know the area, however, i've had a lot of down time.

during a lazy summer afternoon at the house, i decided i was a bit tired of the dark and dingy look of my blog. so...my mama helped me piece together a much cleaner {yellow} blog that i absolutely adore.

enjoy.

summer, 2012

i can't bear the thought that summer is almost over. even though i love the fall, it's going to be hard to leave the long evenings and 80 degree days. the beach just won't feel the same, and ice cream will step aside to make way for hot chocolate.

in the midst of my nostalgic sunday night (gave a tour to some friends at the ol' alma mater...weird.), i decided to go back through the photos of summer. i'll be in nashville for the remainder of the week, so here's a bit of beautiful california before this blog gives way to tennessee posts.

summer, 2012

 {best sundaes. ever.}

 {excuse the hair in my face//it was a bit windy}

 {treats on a saturday}

 {watching the US women's gold medal soccer game}

 {two of my favorite people at the el coyote}

 {malibu trip}

 {someone pulled the fire alarm...in 100+ degree weather}

 {dodgers game with the ladies}

 {this is the, "we just bought tickets to africa" face.}

 {getting ready for a trip home//ice cream for breakfast}

 {filling the vases with flowers//saturday morning tradition}

{love/hate relationship with the glasses: i love, best friend hates} 

{helping the family move}

{in love with old photos}

{iliad//favorite bookstore} 

{berry cake? success.} 

{new hairstyle during june gloom}

lake hollywood.

i actually had never heard of lake hollywood {it sounds like something from a 'b' movie} until i found a website boasting images of homes in the hollywood hills. since i love driving and hollywood, i thought it would be fun to take a trip to the east side, rather than the west.

lake hollywood is off of cahuenga blvd, and climbs up beyond the 170 freeway to a little secluded place right below the sign. and when i say, right below the sign? i mean it. {there were a couple gasp/stop the car/it's so gorgeous moments}

there were quite a few joggers and cyclists as well, wandering up and down the twisty dirt paths. the reservoir was absolutely breathtaking. the dam looks over the LA valley, and the whole lake area feels like a bit of heaven in the middle of the city. i even heard birds chirping. um, has anyone else heard a bird chirp in LA? i didn't think so ;)

we spent another hour driving through east hollywood neighborhoods. houses are so eclectic and imaginative, a few times i simply had to drop my jaw in awe of human creativity. i honestly don't think i will put up with anyone calling LA ugly ever again. expensive? yes. but ugly? no. even the smog doesn't seem so bad anymore...

i can understand why ashton kutcher lives up here. if i was rich, i would, too!

 {this place.}

{hollywood neighborhood}