i'm really not much of a photographer. i'm going to be taking classes soon, which is exciting, but for now i'm just a nerd with a camera. not too crazy, hey?
while up in the bay area, i visited with my aunt when she pulled out these two amazing cameras. hers was just oh so neat, a canon from the 70's that had lots of character. pretty much my camera model from quite a few years ago. as much as i loved it, however, i absolutely fell in love with the second camera that came out of storage, from where it was kept high up on a shelf {you can see it to the left below, with the "argus" branding}
it was old, i'm guesstimating a little bit more than fifty years, and it was my great-grandfathers.
as i passed it back and forth, studying the neat metallic intricacies, my aunt sweetly reminded me, "all those photographs of your grandma, as a little girl? were taken with this camera." saturday marked the twelfth year that my grandma hasn't been able to celebrate her birthday with us, which made it just so much more special. this itty-bitty {kinda heavy} camera from the mid-twentieth century left me reflective and nostalgic for the rest of the day.
i know that it's been years and years, but it's still hard. i know that my mama still misses her mama {and rightfully so}, and sometimes i feel cheated. i only get to hear stories about my grandma, how she loved musicals and talking on the phone and cheesecake. how my mama used to make her laugh, and the neat times around the dinner table. i'm sad that i didn't get to know her any farther than the grandma with the pretty smile and open arms.
i can't say, however, that her life hasn't managed to influence my own. i'm in love with musicals. she helped me learn to read {i recently graduated with an english degree} and write {i'm a creative writing grad student}. it's not much, but it's the tiny inkling that i need. i was a little girl, but there's so much to remember. i'm grateful for my family that is filled to the brim with stories, and my sweet mama. i wouldn't have her without grandma, and i'm glad she raised such a neat lady.
this camera gave me a sneak-peek into the past.
it's simply a piece of my family history, and i love it.
oh, so much.