do you look single?


i was buying a nice little stack of candy at the work cafe the other day, when the cute little cashier looked me up and down and said, "you're single, huh? enjoy it. this time is much too short." it was a random/weird out-of-the-blue statement that made me stop in my tracks.

um, hello? do i just "look" single?

wow. i kind of smiled, (emphasis on the 'kind of'), and walked nice and fast out of there. is it because i buy airhead candy with little to no fear of hip expansion? maybe since sometimes i just throw on shorts and a t-shirt for work, because i'm too tired to do anything else...is it the book i always read on my breaks?

i have no idea, but i had to laugh. what else do you do in a situation like that? i have been in relationships before {i only have good memories, guys! ;) }, and just recently dodged a MAJOR bullet with someone else. it's not the question of actually "getting" into a relationship. i'm just a bit picky. if i'm going to invest my heart in you, to make an "us," i want to make sure that it's worth it. i take heartbreak extremely seriously, and i don't think ben and jerry's markets enough flavors to keep me occupied.

i just recently celebrated my second straight year of singleness after the absolutely hardest break-up i have ever had to endure. the first year afterwards i vowed not to date at all, but instead to invest in the well-being and care of myself, as well as the necessary upkeep needed for my faith. i didn't want to rebound with someone i didn't feel strongly about, and then deal with the same issue all over again. so now here i am, twenty whole years old and singlesinglesingle. it's not a bad word, guys. come on.

that sweet little cashier was right. single life is just as precious as being in a relationship, and so is this period of 'singleness'. there have been a couple boys this semester at school (future police officer + a film maker who has worked with james franco. i love LA), but none of them have really struck a chord. i like to flirt and smile and have fun. (i also might have ditched in the middle of class with the boy who sits next to me, just to eat top ramen outside and talk about san francisco.) but i don't want anything other than that. it just simply, isn't the time. i feel like there's too much to do.

i wouldn't have stayed in LA if i was in a relationship. i never would have had those midnight trips into santa monica, or the hours giggling with my roommate. i wouldn't be moving to nashville in a couple of weeks or going to africa. there are so many doors that were opened due to my crazy "on my own" mentality, and it's good. it's good and i'm happy (by the way. the boys in nashville? SO cute.) I know that the butterflies will make an appearance again in my life, and i'm excited for that time. hopefully it occurs after january.

one day i want to find the harry to my sally, i want to be "princess vivian" and wear a pretty white dress with a bunch of friends and family. i want to be able to tell an engagement story and laugh with my husband, to grow old with another hand clutched in my own, to make memories with him and tell stories. but this time is sweet, and much too short. for the one to ten years i stay single after college, there are many more married years to make up for them. this is one single lady that is begging, please. do not put a ring OR a label on it. friends are good. because this?

this is adventure time.

10 comments:

  1. This was beautiful, girl. Its awesome that you aren't like most girls who think they NEED a guy to make them happy. You have so much ahead of you! Yay!! :)

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    1. Kayla, you are just the sweetest thing! I always love reading your comments :) And I might be addicted to your blog posts...they're so darling!!

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  2. This is adventure time. :) and with all those guys lining up all this time can end whenever you choose. :)

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  3. Eloquently put! No problem being single or in a relationship. I think it's about being true to where you are in your life.

    - tianna :)

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  4. I have total respect for this post. It's hard to come out and say this stuff, and I totally agree with you. It's exactly right to wait until someone really feels like they are the right fit for you, I'm just going through a break up so you have kind of made me feel inspired...I was with him 7 years (I'm 28) and it feels like forever. It's hard starting again. I think I need some Ben & Jerrys.

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  5. what a great post! i laughed out loud at the title.. because i'm pretty sure i always look single.

    Fancy {No}Pants

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  6. Soooo random! Well you look awesome in that top photo! Maybe it was because you looked carefree and bright eyed ;)

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  7. This is probably a story that will make you laugh for years :) Well done for taking the time to remember what being single has meant for you. For me, it meant travelling for 6 months when I only meant to stay for 2, on my return(on a whim) joining my beutiful friends on holiday in Portugal where I then met my current boyfried. I live by the idea that everything happens for a reason. Love this post xx Lizz
    look-to-find.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Your skirt is lovely in this photo as well. I've been trying to find one similar but they all seem to be too short on me

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  8. That's such a weird situation! This is the second time reading this blog post, but it makes me laugh! It seems like something that would happen if we were out somewhere! HAHA Oh Meghan, glad you're enjoying the single life. ;) MHMMMM! HOT LADY!

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thank you for your sweet comments! i read every single one <3